The Remains of War

Return to the Sahaguin...suhaguin...shogun...SEA DEVIL's lair.

That Goggled Bastard

    The party was relaxing and enjoying the thought that they had pnwed the sea devils and stopped their dread ritual that would have laid waste to the coastlines of Keoland. That’s when That Goggled Bastard showed up RIGHT BESIDE a friggin revenge paladin of Vathris and got away without a scratch. Before he left he even had time to monologue before Aurelio could get off his ass and stab the jerk. The Goggled Bastard made a point to say that the intrepid heroes should stay away from the lair or else Ash Tidecaller would become “decidedly uncomfortable”. The Bastard then vanished without explaining how he got his hands on a Yugo or how he could possibly fit Ash into it.

    Once Aurelio shared the details of his encounter with the rest of the party, the consensus was immediately reached; to hell with Ash’s safety, we need to see whats going on down there! So the Swords of the Coast (still works!) set out by ship…again… to the sea devils’ lair. Using Wizzleficks’ newest happy fun toy, the party was turned into reef sharks in order to penetrate the underwater entrance without being detected. As badass as that plan was going to be, Oceanus decided to accidentally(?) trigger a dispel magic trap that turned him back into a Sea Elf. Being sane and cautious adventurers, the rest of the party said “screw it” and proceeded into a frontal assault on what would surely have been wave after wave of sea devils. Wizzleficks threw off the blood fever first and verbally bitch-slapped the rest of the party into a retreat back to the surface. On the surface, it was decided that a frontal assault on the underwater entrance would never work so the adventures opted to knock on the front door instead. Wizzleficks again put his intelligence to good use by using his spellcraft to completely convince the guard behind the door that the little gnome was the most tasty hors d’oeuvre in the history of the multiverse. With the party’s foot in the door, they were able to fight through the forces holding the entrance. They then heard screaming coming from down the corridor and plunged headlong through the hallways to discover the source. That’s when they found That Goggled Bastard on a dais and standing over Ash, freshly-severed fingers in hand. Aurelio charged the dais but promptly disappeared along with Ash and the Bastard. Swearing under their breaths, the rest of the group followed them in.

    Being suddenly submerged, the heroes surmised that they were tranported to the lower level of the lair. The fact they were in a prison cell was also a disconcerting discovery. Finding the confinement quite easy to overcome, the party began exploring their surroundings. Not far down the hall, they found a reverse dome stadium. The dome covered the field while the fans were above it. On the field was the most horrific football game anyone had ever seen. There was a large sea devil installing air conditioning on various creatures’ organs with a trident. Realizing this is another dread ritual in progress, the heroes bum rushed the giant sea devil. That’s when Oceanus decided to turn traitor and attacked the party. Hilarity ensued. After dispatching everything in the ritual room, everyone knew it was only a matter of time before all the sea devils that were observing would make their way downstairs and wash over them like a tide of bricks. They quickly made their way back to the room where they were teleported in because a secret entrance was indicated on the map of the area given by the lizardfolk. As a certain set of double notes began to build in the air, a sense of terror began to fill the party. someone was brave enough to look back and saw biggest, ugliest, most soiled-drawers-inducing shark coming down the hall at them just before they slammed and locked the door. Before the door could be broken down by the monstrosity, the secret rectal entrance was found and the pooped party made their way safely out. As it turned out they had inadvertently completed the ritual by killing the Baron (along with pretty much everything else in the room) and that huge shark was actually an avatar of Sekolah!

    In summary, by the end of the day our heroes had failed to sneak into the lair stealthily, failed to protect Ash from That Goggled Bastard (or more specifically his fingers) and accidentally unleashed a major devil upon the world. Not bad.

Comments

All in a day’s work for the Heroes of Ravenport. Also, nice Mallrats reference!

 

Since Eric failed his casting ability check for Dispel Wall of Text I’ve cast Apply Textile Formatting.

EVaessen ccwilms

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